well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
