I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize