I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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