Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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