see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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