so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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