saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
