I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
