god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I did not marry a roomba.
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