She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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