I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
