apparently the secret to your success is patron
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
