I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Thereโs a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Randomize
