I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize