A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Randomize
