looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
