I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
