guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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