I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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