Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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