do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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