I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
