It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
