even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Never underestimate the power of titties
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