A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Randomize