I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
