3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
