There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
