Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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