On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize