I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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