My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
