it's too hot outside to masturbate.
its not stalking. its research.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Randomize
