I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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