She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I wish they made helmets for livers.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
