batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize