Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
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