ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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