those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
