Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
