I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
