I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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