My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
