I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
