Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize