I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
birth control should be required to get into college
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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