Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
