Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize