is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
is wine microwaveable?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
