i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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