I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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