"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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