one two three fourrrrnication!
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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