it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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