btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
That reminds me...we need to get swords
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
