Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
