I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So vagazzling was a success
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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