dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
