The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
