I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
