I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
