I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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