What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
