If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
