i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
