I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
