Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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